Looking to the future ...........

Well, it's been quite a while since I have posted anything. I must admit that since my radiation treatment ended, I really felt that I needed some time to focus on the future, rather than reflect on the past. And so, that ultimatley translated into ignoring my blog, as my whole reason for setting it up was to keep my wonderful family and friends informed about my well being and treatment. And although I still have a few challenges and decisions ahead of me, it is time to move forward, so that's what I intend to do.

We had a wonderful time sledding in Bradford a couple of weeks ago. When all was said and done, there ended up being 19 of us at the house on Saturday. The "Bradford Gang" is growing! I always feel so fortunate to be part of this big extended family! Unfortunately, it got pretty cold Saturday afternoon, (around 20 below zero), and so that put an end to our night time sledding, but we all packed into the house, for some food, cards and conversation, which made for a memorable and fun evening anyway. Already thinking about our next visit to the little house on the hill over Memorial Day. Can't wait!

Tony has been in Florida for the last 11 days, for his annual golf trip with the boys! The day he left, we got 14 inches of snow! I spent my afternoon and the following morning snow blowing and shoveling, so as you can imagine, I was a bit resentful of the fact that the guys were yucking it up in the sunshine. I better get a good present when he returns this evening......... I really do hope they had a good time though, and knowing them, they will have several stories to tell of their adventures.

I am headed out to Jessica's this evening. She and her husband Josh are going to jump in Lake Champlain this morning, and in fact they are probably getting ready to take their dunk right about now. It is all part of The Penguin Plunge, which is a fund raiser for Vermont Special Olympics. Now, I know some of you may be saying, why isn't Shannon participating? well, the answer quite simply is "What, are you crazy"? Aint no way this lily white butt is gonna jump in the lake in the beginning of February! We did however pledge our support by contributing money. Gotta love Jess and Josh for being brave enough to take "the plunge" though! I'll bring them a bottle of something to warm their insides when I head over to their house later today.

So that's about it for now. Nothing too exciting, just plugging through and looking to Spring. Heidi and I have already been talking about the new gardens we are going to make, and where to plant all the bulbs we bought on sale last fall. And the sun is shining right now, so I think I'll get away from the computer, and go do something useful.

Love to all.

Shannon

Radiation makes you glow in the dark!

Nah, I'm kidding, I don't glow in the dark! As of today, I have completed 32 radiation treatments and only have 1 more to go. So, big gathering at my house tomorrow evening to celebrate the end of ALL treatment. No more removal of body parts, no more chemo, and no more radiation! Woo Hoo!

Surprisingly, to me anyway, it has made me feel quite emotional. I have been so focused on getting through each day, and each segment of treatment, that I hadn't allowed myself to think about what it would feel like to be completely done. And you know what, it feels GREAT!

It has also made me reflect back on all of the people that have helped me to reach this point. There have been at least 40 different doctors, nurses, therapists, aides, counselors, nutritionists and administrative people involved in my care and each and everyone of those people had a hand in saving my life! It's hard to minimize that and saying "thank you" doesn't really seem like enough. Not that it has stopped me from thanking them, but you know what I mean. Yet again, I have to acknowledge how very fortunate I have been.

We are headed to Bradford next weekend for a sledding party. It's gonna be loads of fun. As it stands now, there will be about 19 of us at the little house on the hill!
A bit crowded, but we always feel, the more the merrier. Our friends, Duncan and Nicole have a snowmobile that they are bringing, so between that, our 4 wheeler and the huge bonfire we'll build, it's looking like the "Bradford Gang" is in for another memorable weekend. Can't wait!

So it's onward and upward from here. I will never be able to sufficiently thank everyone who has played a role in my care, both physically and psychologically, but if you are reading this blog, please know how very much you all mean to me and how grateful I am. You are all angels on earth.

Much love
Shannon

My Uncle Bill

This past summer I learned that my favorite uncle, Uncle Bill, had been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Although he is one of the strongest men I have ever known, we all knew from the onset that this terrible disease would take his life. Sadly, over the last few days, he has taken a turn for the worse, and is now nearing the end of his life. My Uncle Bill is a very special and great man, who showed us all that family means everything, and that your actions can make a difference in someone's life. Because of this, I have written a small poem as a tribute to "My Uncle Bill" and want to share it with all of you. The picture that I have posted is of Uncle Bill and Aunt Clare. They celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary on Dec. 4, 2008.

My Uncle Bill

Showed me that family is every thing
Teased me relentlessly
Was a man of integrity
Had big hands and an even bigger heart

My Uncle Bill

Had unquestionable strength of character
Always had a smile and a funny story
Was the craftsman who made me a clock to remember my Father by
Was there whenever you needed him

My Uncle Bill

Shared his belief in God’s love
Loved to golf and just may have taken a mulligan now and then
Gave me quarters when I was little
Showed me what a husband could be

My Uncle Bill

Worked hard and lived well
Always had a twinkle in his eye
Was a “Fast Track” kind of guy
Loved his 3 girls more than life itself

My Uncle Bill

Was the neighbor and friend everyone could count on
Loved to drive everything from Car to Combine
Always tried to pick up the check when we went out to eat
Gave so much more than he ever took

My Uncle Bill

Bought us ice cream when were little
Showed us all that the name “Grandpa” also means unconditional love
Had a laugh that made you laugh with him
Made me a better person for knowing him

My Uncle Bill

Always called me Shanny
Held my hand when my Mother and Father passed away
Gave the BEST hugs, and always knew when you needed one
Is now in God’s hands, but forever in my heart

I love you Uncle Bill

2009 - Here we come ........

Good morning all,

Well, I don't know about all of you, but we sure celebrated our butts off on New Years Eve. We spent the evening with Jessica, Josh, Heidi and Steve and several other friends dancing, playing Wi - Rock Band, and playing cards. It was a really great time, and for Tony and I, it marked the beginning of what we know is going to be a great year. Most importantly, we began the New Year with our "back up" by our sides!

We've had an extended christmas this year, as we just celebrated the Singer family xmas at my brother Steve's house yesterday. We all started out by going to see my nephew Josh's basketball game, and then back to Steve's for a visit and gifts. This year was made extra special by the fact that my great neice Sarah, was there with us for her very first christmas. It is really sweet to watch my brother David, or "Grandpa" as he is now known with his first grand baby. Makes me wonder how he got old enough to be a Grandpa though? I know that I am way to young to be a great-aunt!

We also had a little celebration for my sister Debbie and her new husband Bill. They got married in a private ceremony on Dec. 17, while Debbie's daughter Morgan was visiting here in Vermont. And the icing on the cake is that Bill's two wonderful boys, Luke and Nathan are now officially my nephews! So as you can see, our family had a lot to celebrate and has a great deal to be thankful for. And to Bill and the boys, welcome to our family. We love you!

I only have 2 weeks of radiation treatments left and am looking forward to a new beginning in 2009. I still have some decisions and life changes to make, but am feeling all the stronger because of the support and love of my amazing family and friends. I said it before, but I am going to say it again, it's gonna be a great year!

Love to all,
Shannon

Happy New Year..................

Well, as you can tell by the fact that I have not posted anything since Dec. 5, it has been a very busy month! This work thing is getting in the way of my blogging! However, I must admit that I am enjoying my new job and co-workers and getting a paycheck again is pretty cool too! I really wonder how I got everything done in years past though. I am only working part-time and I still find that I am on the go all the time. It's all good though because I can't imagine what I would do to keep busy otherwise. You can only clean closets for so long!

I completed my 21st radiation treatment this morning, and only have 12 more to go. As of yet, I have not experienced any real discomfort, and am hopeful that as I move into weeks 5 and 6 the side effects will be minimal. The docs say that I may get a bit of a sunburn in the last weeks, and that fatigue may also be an issue, but then again, who isn't tired half of the time? Either way, I am very happy to be nearing the end of what has been a fairly long treatment process.

When I complete the radiation stage of my treatment, I will have to decide whether or not I will agree to anti-hormone therepy, ie Tamoxafin or an Aromatas Inhibitor. As you may recall, my cancer is fed by the production of estrogen, and even though I removed my ovaries, the adrenal glands still produce a small amount of estrogen and the anti-hormone therepy will essentially stop that production.

Having consulted with 2 Medical Oncologists I am still uncertain as to whether or not I believe the benefits outweigh the risks. The problem is that each time I think I have made a decision, I then talk to the doctors and I get scared. This is the same reason I agreed to chemo and I now believe that it was the wrong decision. So as you can see, I have quite the dilemma in front of me. The good news is that I still have time to decide and am continuing to research my options. In the mean time I have been working with my brother David to determine what vitamin and natural supplements can best support my overall health. And so, the saga continues.

As I said earlier, it has been a busy month. The weekends have been full of christmas partys and baking. A couple of weeks ago, I got together with my friend Dani, and we baked cut out cookies with her grand-daughters, Meaghen, Olivia and Ana. It was wonderful and special day, as all of the girls are so sweet and fun to be around. It just doesn't feel like christmas unless you can share it with kids, and spending time with Dani and the girls made me feel just like I did when I used to bake with my Mom years ago. If Dani and the girls will invite me back, I just may have myself a new christmas tradition.

Other than the baking, it has been one christmas party after another. It's been such a busy year and the holidays have afforded us the opportunity to see many of the folks that we have missed through out the year. I really enjoyed visiting with everyone, and was again reminded of how very fortunate Tony and I are to have so many good friends in our lives.

As I look back at 2008, I hope that it can be said that I faced my particular challenges with a certain amount of grace and courage, but I am not foolish enough to think that I could have done so without the help and support given by my wonderful friends and family. Because of all of you, it has been a year filled with many blessings and the making of countless unforgettable memories.

And so, as I look to 2009, I do so knowing that although I still have some challenges in front of me, each and every one of you is by my side, holding my hand, laughing with me and sharing with me an unforgettable journey, and for that I shall be eternally grateful!

My wish for 2009 is that each and every one of you is blessed by the same good fortune as I have been and that it is happy, healthy, full of love and and the blessings that only family and good friends can provide. It's gonna be a good year!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With love,

Shannon

Hi Ho, Hi Ho............

It's off to work I go.............. Believe it or not, I got a job! I haven't exactly been the most employable person over the last several months, but fortunately my brother Steve still offered me a job. Isn't family wonderful? Steve is the Branch Manager for Environmental Products and Services of Vermont, and recently a postition for an Administrative Assistant became available so my wonderful brother offered me the job. How could I refuse? It's part-time M thru F, from 7:30am to 12:30pm, and they also allow me the flexibility to go to my radiation treatments and doctors appointments.

Now, remember how I was whining about having to go to my radiation treatments at 8 o'colock at night? Well, just after I accepted the position with E.P.S., my appointments got changed to morning, with the times varying from 7am to 8:15am. So guess what, can't be to work at 7:30am, can I? However, as I mentioned, Steve and all of the folks at E.P.S. have been terrific, and have allowed me the flexibility of starting work at different times each day.

So all in all, it just goes to show you that things really do work out for the best, if you just give it time. I even feel a little bad about complaining before! I am enjoying my new job and the people have all been really nice. It's good to have a place to go every day and a reason to get up and get going in the morning.

Honestly, if Steve hadn't hired me, I don't know what I would have done to keep busy all winter! I am also looking forward to getting a paycheck again. Given the fact that we are in a recession, (thanks for telling us a year later) and mine and everyone else's 401K's have tanked, a little extra money will be very welcome. Tony is awfully happy too, because now I won't be raiding his account every time I need a few bucks. Not that I don't know how to get to it when I need to!

As you can see, it's been a good couple of weeks. My port was removed on Wednesday, which was a huge milestone because it means that chemo is officially behind me. If I had it to do all over again, I am not sure that I would accept chemo as part of my treatment, but of course now that it is over, I am glad that I did it. Now all I have to do is decide whether or not I will take Tomoxafin when I complete radiation. Unless the Doc's have some pretty compelling reasons as to why I should take it, I will likely refuse the option.

Well that's it for now. I am on my own this weekend as Muzzle Loading season opens tomorrow, so I guess you know where my husband is................... yup, he's in Bradford. I however have had enough and so will forego the pleasure of cooking and hanging with the guys. I'll miss the story and the comradrie if someone gets a deer, but they'll call if they are successful and I'll share in their joy over the phone.

I have to go now, as I am awfully tired. I worked 25 hours this week ya know! Tee hee.

Hugs and love to all,
Shannon

Happy Turkey Day!

Hello all,

Can you believe that it is Thanksgiving already? The older I get, the faster the time flys! Either way, I find myself feeling thankful for many things this Thanksgiving, not the least of which is all of my wonderful friends and family. Although 2008 has been a very different year than I orignally planned, when I think about what has transpired over the last 11 months, I am amazed at the great good fortune that has come my way.

Now that is not to say that I haven't had my struggles, and have at times even felt a little bit sorry for myself. However, every time I was faced with a challenge, the support that I received from friends and family was more than I could have ever dreamed or hoped for. In addition, I can't help but be thankful for the fact that I have been blessed with best possible outcome in each of the treatments/surgeries that I have undergone.

The past months have made me realize more than ever that life is about how we overcome the obstacles we are presented with, and the folks who are there to give you a boost when you just can't quite get over those obstacles on your own. So that being said, I want to thank each and every one of you for being there to give me a boost when I needed it most!

As you can see from the above picture, Jessica has been hard at work painting my head yet again! I am also posting a something that was sent to me by my sister in law, Paula, which really says it all. I hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving and "I wish you enough".

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the your final good-byes.

Much love,

Shannon